Getting Lost On The Road Of Life

First things first: new music to your right. Enjoy.

Recently most of my time has been spent being enthralled by Mass Effect 2, which I feel is already safe to call game of the year. It is strong on nearly all fronts, from combat to story to character interaction. While I found a few of the story elements frustrating (Kaidan/Ashley’s involvement being the biggest offender) overall I am extremely satisfied with the game, having played it to completion twice already, with a third run in progress. I’m still finding great new bits squirreled away, like funny dances (spoilers, I guess) and straight-up industry trolling.

In my last update I talked about buying a new graphics card and hoping for the best. Unfortunately it hasn’t worked out. The first couple days I had it, I was getting random blue screens, and after that the computer started shutting down about every hour. It seems like a power issue to me. Though my supply matches the requirement the card asks for (400w) I guess you need even the slightest buffer for when the card is doing its thing. Without any recourse I guess I’ll return it and blow the money on some other wasteful endeavor. Man those were some pretty graphics though.

Finally, I’m pretty sure this is one of the signs of the apocalypse.

2010 has wasted no time pulling some crazy shit. I think the saddest thing about the Haiti situation is that there are fucks like this guy who say vile, inhuman bullshit like this and there are people who agree with him. Thousands have died and thousands more will die but they sure had it coming to them for something that happened over 200 years ago! If there is a hell I will see you there, sir.

As for the Conan thing, well, what more can be said? The guy got royally dicked over by the network he’s been loyal to for about as long as Leno. It blows my mind how Leno failed and is getting rewarded for it. Let’s not forget in all of this that the Jay Leno Show was the program that got canceled. Fuck you NBC, I will never watch your network again. I’ll be torrenting my episodes of Community from now on.

Thankfully there have been shining rays of light piercing through the murk: mainly some video games and a trip to the newly christened Lloydhalla, Stronghold of the Clan Lloyd. For three days there was feasting and music and feats of strength. I had been told beforehand that there would be a larger number of people attending, larger than I had seen in my previous trips, but I wasn’t quite prepared for the final number: 12 in all. I always feel awkward around new people but for the most part I did not feel judged. It was good to see faces that have been absent for some time. I usually have trouble getting to sleep in places that are not my house but I did okay at Lloydhalla; chalk it up to the comfy bed I was generously allocated. Next time I go though I think I’ll bring along some Tylenol PM or somesuch to ease things along.

I like my computer. Assembled deep in the technoforges by the denizens Lloydhaus and now Lloydhaus 2: The Rehausening, it has served me well. However, I began to notice more and more when playing newer games on it that it could not keep up, at least not without toning down the graphical fidelity significantly. The weak link is my video card, which is probably pretty dated by today’s standards. With my newly acquired Christmas ca$h, I have endeavored to upgrade to something more modern. This is when I discovered that graphics cards naming conventions are completely fucked. For instance, I have a Geforce 8500 GT. 8500’s a big number, right? Turns out it’s inferior to a 6800 Ultra or a 7600 GT, at least, according to this chart. I don’t know how they expert the casual consumer to make informed decisions about these things, although maybe the casual consumer is more inclined to buy a Dell for $1500 than build something themselves. In any case, a kind third party was able to point me to a Radeon 4670 for $80. For some reason I have always harbored a bias towards Nvidia and I’m not quite sure why. Perhaps years of absorbing internet discussions and seeing the Nvidia logo plastered on every game box and in every game intro led me to this, but it’s not like the games won’t work without those specific cards. Right? I guess I’ll find out on Wednesday.

It’s that time of year. That is, the end of it. Time to look back on 2009 and declare what the most enjoyable things were for no interesting reason beyond wanting to put up something new to read. Onward!

It was a pretty decent year for games all in all. Here’s what I enjoyed most:

1. Dragon Age: Origins
2. Assassin’s Creed 2
3. Left 4 Dead 2
4. Borderlands
5. The Beatles: Rock Band

Overall Dragon Age has sucked away the most of my abundant time. I still haven’t beaten it even after 30 hours. Really looking forward to next year (hell, next month) with gems like Bayonetta, Mass Effect 2, and Lost Planet 2.

Movies! Saw a lot of movies this year, I think pretty much all of them with my stalwart companion Remy. Good times.

1. Up
2. District 9
3. Avatar
4. Zombieland
5. Taken

Yes, Taken did technically come out in the US in 2009 so I’m counting it. All of these are fantastic movies. Up is easily one of the most heartfelt and amazing films I’ve ever seen.

I was going to do a music list but who cares about my tastes, they all suck anyways. There was a lot of it though, so…there’s that.

2009 was a year of progress mostly. Not my progress, but my sister moving upstate and going to school, my mom having her surgery and losing some weight, and some of my friends getting places to call their own. Personally, it is very frustrating to struggle with my phobias and be unable to let myself take steps forward while everyone around me is living their lives and doing well. This whole decade, for me, has largely been wanting to better myself, thinking about taking that first step, and ultimately resigning myself to my current fate yet again. I can’t guarantee 2010 will hold anything different for me. I don’t know where life will take me. But at least I know I will have the support of my family and friends no matter what.

A while back, my sister got a citation for driving an unregistered vehicle, my mom’s car. She then moved without taking care of it even though she said she had several times. About a month ago we got a letter saying if she did not pay off her fine of about $1500 her license would be revoked and she would be royally screwed. Since the citation was given down here, she had to come to a court down here to clear it all up, so that is just what she planned to do.

Being a 20-year-old with lots of friends remaining in her former city of residence, she also thought to make it into a fun trip and visit some friends while she was down here. She arrived last Wednesday, with plans to go to the courthouse on Thursday and leave Friday. Wednesday was spent catching up and seeing friends. On Thursday, my sister somehow came to the realization that she needed to be dressed formally for the courthouse so my mom got her a rather snappy looking pantsuit with matching shoes, but unfortunately this realization came so late in the day that the courthouse would have to wait until Friday rolls around.

Friday arrived, and they leave for the courthouse early. They return home shortly with the information that the judge will see her the next business day, which is Monday. My sister is quite annoyed by this, but my grandmother loses her fucking mind and demands my sister leave that day or find somewhere else to see. You see, though she is a sweet old lady, she is also grizzled as hell and knows how to hold a grudge, and I guess she’s never gotten over the hell my sister and her husband put us through those months they were living here. She accused my sister of “wasting gas and water” despite the fact that my sister hadn’t so much as showered since she got here and as for gas, uh…she didn’t use the oven either? That one baffles me, honestly, but I figure she just wanted her gone because she hasn’t (and probably never will) forgive her. If you recall, she acted in largely the same irrational fashion regarding my sister’s rats who remained here while my sister was sleeping in a motel. The rats made no noise, caused little mess, and were completely out of sight to her, yet she demanded them gone, because they were my sister’s.

All these accusations and demands put a lot of unnecessary stress on everyone and if you know anything about my sister you know she will argue with you until you want to jam a knife into your ears just to stop the noise. Eventually it reached a crescendo of screaming where I raised my voice beyond “shouting” and all the way to “I will murder you with my voice” levels which I think I’ve done maybe thrice before in my life. It had the intended effect of stopping the argument cold, and doing it made me quite shaken. I like to think I am (despite my many phobias) a mostly rational person, so losing my grip on cold, hard logic in favor of wild hollering abandon was terrifying. To continue to support my status as a complete nerd, I imagine it’s a similar feeling to giving into the Dark Side.

It is hard to see someone who you have admired and respected your entire life act in such a petty and spiteful manner. Maybe she has always been a bitter person and just hides it remarkably well. I can’t say for sure. She would continue to raise objections throughout my sister’s remaining time here, and it put a needless damper on everything. When Monday rolled around, my sister went to the court, got the fine (lowered to a far more reasonable level) paid, and didn’t look back. I suspect she won’t return for a very long time, my grandmother effectively banning her from this house. Make no mistake, how my sister and her husband acted during their time here was unacceptable and disrespectful to the extreme, but my mom and I were both there and we have no hard feelings against her. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, so maybe our time apart has healed those wounds. Maybe I am just willing to forgive because she is my sister and I love her and that is what a big brother does.

This post has gone on long enough but I just wanted to make mention of a new album that just came out from a group known as Them Crooked Vultures. Composed of Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters game, Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age, and John Paul Jones from Led-goddamn-Zeppelin, their self-titled debut is one of the best albums I have heard this year and I would say any year. There is not a bad song on there, and I have included my favorite song of theirs (along with 11 other nifty tunes) to the right. Give it a listen, and if you like what you hear check out the whole thing. I rarely feel so strongly about entire albums but this one is just solid on every level.

It’s funny that, even with a large amount of games slipping to early 2010 to avoid being obliterated by the big one, there is still plenty of gaming to feast upon this season.  I do enjoy a full plate (in more ways than one) but it can be overwhelming.

I’ve been dipping my toes into Borderlands this past week, and despite the myriad of issues it carries on the PC (shitty Gamespy connectivity, being a console port, and having unskippable intro movies) it is still immensely fun, especially in the co-op.  The hunger for bigger and better guns is ever present, and I find myself loading the game up just to see what stores can offer me in a fire sale.  Been very lucky in that regard, got some nice deals.  Right now I’m rocking a six-shooter that fires bullets made of acid which makes the whole game feel like some kind of crazy futuristic western, equal parts Trigun and Fallout.  The story is basically nonexistent but everything else in the game is so solid and engaging that it can be forgiven this flaw.

I also started into The Ballad of Gay Tony, the second and final downloadable episode for the Xbox 360 version of Grand Theft Auto 4.  It is simply more GTA4, and if you somehow didn’t enjoy the game before this won’t change your mind.  I’ve always found it to be immensely entertaining though, so I will take any excuse to play more of it.  It’s a shame this is the last they’ll do with it, but it is ending its download run on a high note so no complaints there.

Next week brings two equally anticipated games: Dragon Age and Lego Rock Band.  Having to choose between these two is like fucking Sophie’s Choice, if the choice were picking which child to play with now and which to play with later instead of picking which will die.  I will probably go with Dragon Age because LRB is little more than a content pack which can be had at a later, more appropriate price.  But goddamn does it have some good songs in there.

Lastly, L4D2 looms on the horizon and by all accounts looks pretty bitchin’.  I still need to work out a 4-pack deal with people so if you want to set up something with that let me know.

The other day my grandmother had a fainting spell, the second in about 4 days.  A visit to the doctor indicated that it wasn’t a small stroke or anything of the kind, so that’s relieving.  Still, I wonder if this is just the signs of old age beginning to crack through her otherwise stoic attitude.  Yes, she is 90 and she looks it, but I mean damn the woman can still get herself up and make her own coffee every morning.  I suppose it’s just a reminder that she’s as fragile as anyone, and even more so considering her circumstances.  I cannot picture her dying because to me she is made of iron and is a badass like most elderly people.

I was surprised to hear of a party at Rogehaus from Adam, then just as equally disappointed to hear I had forgotten to be invited, probably to everyone’s benefit.  A depressing thing, to be sure, but luckily a few days later this depression vanished as the Vanguard reconvened and we all got back in our collective saddles in the town of Moonstair.  For a long while I thought of the Nentir Vale as the entire “universe” of the game.  in such a way that if we went too far north or south we would hit an invisible wall, like in a regular ass video game.  When the idea of crossing over the ice wall was first suggested it seemed ludicrous to me; that’s not on the map, I thought, so we can’t go there.  But here we are and now we find ourselves in stranger areas still.  I mean, the feywild?  That is amazing to me.  Where can we go here?  Well, Ponydreamland, but I mean actual places.  I suppose there really is no limit to where our journeys can take us, which makes the world seem much bigger.  I had heard whispers of getting together online so as to make games more frequent, which would be agreeable to me if we could all manage to get in a voice chat together.  I look forward to seeing how this unfolds.

Let’s update again before another month has passed, shall we?

Actually now that I get into it there isn’t much to talk about.  Got around to seeing Zombieland with Adam which I’d heard good things about before going in.  It ended up being a fantastic movie because of a cameo I will not spoil here, but suffice to say it came entirely out of nowhere and was wholly appreciated.  This is honestly like the American Shaun of the Dead.  A really fucking funny movie set in the zombie apocalypse.

Rocktober 13th has come and gone and on that long-awaited day I finally acquired a copy of Brutal Legend, which I have been savoring for a couple days now.  It seems like a pretty divisive game, which is interesting since I never pegged it as such.  For me, I find the world itself to be incredibly compelling.  Every part of it has some really cool shit to see that either fleshes out the backstory or just makes you wonder how someone came up with it.  I would daresay this is the game with the most flat-out creativity this whole year.  I find myself just driving around, looking for landmarks and trying to find all the collectibles, which is something I rarely do.  In most cases I would have blown through the (admittedly short) campaign by now, but I am probably only halfway through just because I keep exploring.  Double Fine’s games (all two of them) seem to share common factors: rather simple gameplay elevated with a compelling narrative and excellent voice acting.  Brutal Legend’s gameplay has been done before in other games, and better, but this is a story unlike any other and everyone should at least play it to experience that.

Not much else coming up to speak of I believe.  We’ll see where the coming days take me.

Hello there.  ‘Bout time for another update I reckon.  So much has occurred since last time it is hard for me to recall everything I wish to touch on, but I will try.

Cody made his triumphant return into our lives, only to leave again in the blink of an eye, off to generally be a badass in exotic corners of the world.  It was good to see him again, and I look forward to our next far off meeting, whenever it might be.  On a similar note, Mike Clenshaw, whom I found an unlikely ally in, was also whisked away to I believe Pennsylvania?  Something with a P.  I think it was for schooling.  I cannot fathom such a journey myself, I have found a spot and now I cannot be budged from it.  That is the way of things I suppose.

There have been a couple noteworthy family happenings.  My cousin, who I was not too fond of growing up, brought her newly christened fourth husband by to meet the family.  Seems like a nice guy, as all the previous husbands have seemed to be, but I suppose time will tell.  Maybe I am just being cynical but I wonder what makes a person burn through three marriages by the time they’re 30 and go “one more.”  Perhaps it is simply a testament to her determination to find the “one” if such a thing even exists.  I do not believe there is someone for everyone, but I do believe some people get extremely lucky.  Perhaps this will be her one.  I can only hope so.

My grandmother is going to turn 90 years old in a scant few days, so since a large part of family was already in town from Arizona for a wedding, we decided to have a large get-together at the local BJ’s Brewery, a fine establishment.  While I enjoy seeing family I have not seen for a while, extended exposure tends to leave me feeling awkward.  You can only answer “oh, you know, not much” to the question “so what have you been up to?” so many times before you start to feel inadequate.  That and I got halfway lectured at by my uncle who I haven’t seen in probably close to a decade.  Thanks for telling me I need to get a job and learn to drive Tommy, I had no idea.

About a week or two ago, I had a grisly injury befall me.  We were overdue to get the house’s carpets cleaned so a guy came out and set to work getting his clean on.  Since this meant having to stay out of the house, I was very bored so I called up good sir Remy and asked if he would like to head out to lunch.  He found this suggestion enjoyable, and so I headed into the house to gather my shoes, which meant stepping on the wet carpet.  I had to step on tile to get back outside, and when I did, I lost my footing and fell in such a way that the toenail on the second toe of my left foot became partially torn off.  I did not even notice it until I sat to put on my shoes.  It was quite a shock, and a million thoughts ran through my head.  Will I get an infection?  Will the toe fall off?  Will they pass universal health care before either of those things happen?  Thankfully it was not a serious injury.  I kept it wrapped with antibiotics and eventually the area healed, or at least it didn’t hurt to walk on.  The nail ended up falling off entirely so I am down to 9 toenails which is an interesting sight.  I considered taking a picture but figured it would be pretty gross so why bother.  I do not know if the nail will grow back or not.  I almost don’t want it to, just to be able to have some kind of story to tell.  I suppose we shall see.

Aside from such things, not much has been going on of note.  I have not seen much of my comrades in arms, the Lloyds, in recent weeks.  Perhaps they are still resting from their journey to the Arizona wastes to divine arcane secrets and seek the aid of the mystical Sasguaro of yore.  Perhaps times are due for a visit.  This would be agreeable to me.

Please enjoy (or do not) new music.

Austin’s 21st birthday occurred last week, and it was his decree that we make yet another pilgrimage to noble Cabinlot for a couple days of isolation and nerditry.  Making the journey was Austin, myself, Garrett, Remy, and a couple of Austin’s friends from that wretched hive of scum and villainy we call The Internet who I’d never met before.  They were as we were: generally nice, funny, and weird as hell.  I am always anxious about meeting new people but once I learned we had some common ground between us my tensions were allayed.

To be honest, not much of note happened up there.  There was a lot of movie watching, some friendly competition at the newly re-released Marvel vs. Capcom 2, and I did manage a bit of rocking out, although no one else joined in.  An attempt to go bowling was made, but after hearing the ridiculous price of entry we opted out.  Even if I’d had the money I wouldn’t have paid it.  Still, despite the general lack of activity I did not my find myself bored.  I suppose being around people you like helps.

The nights were rather harsh though.  I didn’t know what it was but I simply could not get a respectable amount of sleep when I was up there.  So I stayed up and flipped through TV channels, managing to catch some old favorites I hadn’t seen in a while (Speed and Ace Ventura) and watching whatever caught my eye just for an excuse to not have to lay motionless looking at nothing.

I will say I did pine for Chase’s presence, not just because I think he’s such a swell guy, but because he acts as a sort of cartographer for our excursions, a caretaker and preserver of memories.  Remy brought a camera but never took it out except for a few minutes towards the tail end of our visit.  I always enjoy flipping through pictures of trips and reflecting on what occurred while also trying to black out any part of the picture with me in it.  Woof.

In any case, a wonderful time was had and I once again thank Austin and Kelly for continuing to invite me places I don’t deserve to go.  There is new music on the right, please enjoy.

The move was thankfully a success.  Problems were resolved and we got on the road at about 8:30 PM or so.  Unfortunately my mom and I were traveling up there in a U-Haul truck, and they don’t make those to accommodate people with freakish legs like mine.  Also, it was a nearly 6 hour drive, so by the time we actually got to our destination I couldn’t really feel my legs anymore.  I have never loved a Motel 6 more.

The next day, unloading began.  There wasn’t much to move, and thank God, because it was blazing hot and we had to carry things upstairs.  Unloading took about two and a half hours or so, ending at 2:30.  Our flight was leaving at 5:30 so we figured we had a little time to kill.  We dropped off the U-Haul truck and went around buying my sister some amenities for the new place.  By the time we finished it was 4:30.  It was then we realized we had an hour to get to San Francisco without even knowing how far it was, so we drove.  And when we saw that, after 25 minutes of driving we were still 80 miles out, we resigned ourselves to having to stay another night.  I was not happy about this, mainly because the more time I spend out of my comfort zone the crankier I get.  We re-scheduled to the earliest flight they had at 7 am, and resolved to wake up at 4 am to ensure ample traveling time.

It worked out, but barely.  We actually made it to San Francisco (a nice bonus to this journey was getting to see and drive across the Golden Gate Bridge) but we had no idea how to get to the airport.  A stop at a nearby McDonald’s (seriously, McDonald’s?) offered no assistance.  It was 6 am and we had no idea how close or far we were from our destination.  I silently cursed myself for not googling this shit before we left.  Desperate, we called over a very nice fellow on a ladder who got us straight there with his directions.  He will not read this, but I thank you sir.  Were it not for you, we probably would’ve had to pay another $100 to flip our tickets to another later flight and I would’ve been angry even longer.  In the end, we did make it, with about half an hour to spare.  We gleefully bid my sister and her husband farewell and wished them all the best.  I had to keep myself from skipping through the terminal, such was my joy at finally settling their housing situation.

And now here we are.  The past couple weeks have been those of quiet bliss.  No longer do I hear the roar of their computer (my former comrade) or the roar of yet another fight over why the FUCK did someone let Rupture fall off the boss.  Really, they would get into loud shouting matches over who did better DPS.  Really.  Really really.

Seen a couple movies in the meantime.  Got special passes to see Bruno from my sister, so I brought alone Adam and Austin and we were all thoroughly entertained and disgusted.  Also went with Adam to see Harry Potter the other day, at a midnight showing.  Well, midnight 20.  I was thoroughly unprepared for the mass of people who I imagined sound just like I do when I am excited about one of my silly things that I really enjoy.  It was a fine movie, and easily the best I’ve seen.  I’ve only seen two for the record.  I did start to watch the 5th movie on Adam’s iPod while sitting in line but didn’t manage to get through it.  I’ll have to come back to that.

As of this writing the Lloyds are away at Palm Springs and I have been visiting Adam while he keeps a silent vigil over their abode.  I noticed Garrett’s TV was moved to the garage, a noble sacrifice.  I got to play a little of Donkey Kong Jungle Beat with NEW PLAY CONTROL and I have to say the bongos brought a lot of personality to the game that is frankly lost in the new version.  It’s funny, when I was playing the original version I thought it would be a lot more precise with a stick and a jump button but it’s really not.  Hindsight’s a bitch, I suppose.  Still, the game remains entertaining and visceral, raining blows upon your hapless victims when given the slightest opening.  I wish they would use this exaggerated style of movement and action in more games.  Maybe it’s only suited to Donkey Kong.

That should wrap up this post nicely.  We are in a better place now, and I hope it stays that way for a long, long time.